Entry number seven...

Well, considering the 'numbers,' this ought to be a 'propitious' post; I haven't been here for a while, and I'm kind of afraid to jump back into it, almost. Don't get me wrong... I love to write, and these 'forums' give me an opportunity to express myself that I find very difficult to resist. I love to think... and I love to think 'out loud,' more or less... it is very much Self ex-press-ion at its very finest, save maybe the creation of music or visual works of art, which must be quite similar in terms of satisfaction, I would think. I do draw, also, and I enjoy that... it has its 'times,' it would seem, when I find myself to be inspired in that way, but I am not always; it's different with writing, and reasoning... it's like breathing. I can't stop.

And so... a place like this is just right for me. I don't expect an audience, or karma points (neither good nor bad), or approval. I just want to say what I have to say, and ex-press my Self, which seems fair enough. I want to apologize if it seems like I've been unfair to anybody in other settings; I'm sure I never meant to be, but... it turns out to be a more complicated world than I had imagined it to be, to say the least, and I do have a tendency to take things fairly personally. I feel as if I have my reasons, and as much as I'd like to lay those out sometimes, I have to consider that silence is often the better part of valor, which... being an Aries, I have a hard time with, generally. I'm not very patient, by nature, and I've paid for that in many, and various, ways. You'd think I'd learn... but in the meantime, I can find some happiness here, and it doesn't have to be at anyone's expense; neither theirs, nor mine. I'm really not asking for much.

It seems that my main problem is that I don't see things in the same way as most people do... I've had a lot of time to think, and I'm really grateful for the exposure to knowledge that I always seemed to enjoy... persons, places, books... old and new. It seems to have given me a somewhat unique perspective on things, and a real belief that all things are indeed possible to thought, although their possibility 'in translation' depends on their agreement, or disagreement, with applicable natural laws in this third-dimensional theatre, so to speak. This brings us around to 'magic'... the real kind, which I am a big believer in, and it turns out that many other greater minds before me did the same. Alchemy is a 'science,' as true as any. Those that are able to work in this field are also 'artists,' as surely as any other. And, those that succeed in this field are 'masters,' indeed... 'maestros,' even... in their own way. And we are also their apprentices... and some of us will exceed them. It is to be expected.

I understand that alchemy is not witchcraft... but it is 'magic' of the highest possible sort, and the best part of it all is that it is, as I said, a real magic... that any man might take hold of, but where only 'truth' will suffice to succeed. One can never hope to 'steal' the 'word' from the Master that will pay the inept the higher wages of the industrious... it is not possible. Ineptitude will always betray itself, just as the Masonic story of Hiram illustrates for us. And for this, we should probably also give thanks. And this is where our 'patience' pays off, if we can stand it that long, that is...

Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief...

Even so.



One more night at work, and then a day off; maybe I can post some of the things that I've been thinking over then. I may actually think too much... do you really think it's possible?